the hardest thing

so i posted a status update tonight on FB "I think the hardest part of not having Adam here is spending every night at home alone" there is so much more in that statement than the obvious.


when news went out that adam was going overseas MANY people responded with something along the lines of - we'll (i'll) be here for you, if you need anything let me (us) know, etc.


i have asked various friends for help and they have always been willing - but it would be nice if - for just once - someone would call or (even better) stop by for a surprise visit - to check on me and hang out - have dinner, watch tv or a movie. 


i have had a total of 1 friend who would come over - just to hang out.


i LOVE aiden with all of my heart - but even with him here - i honestly feel like i'm more alone - because besides work and the gym - i have NO adult interaction, and it's honestly really starting to wear on me..... who am i kidding, it's already taken a toll.


i miss my mom and dad so much - i wish they were still here.


i think the time of the year isn't helping much - this was my mom's favorite holiday.


i can't even stop crying while writing this post.